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Andropov
"Most Likely to Drop Off" list
David Mellor Fright Mask For Ugliest Politician Even if it's true I can't believe it .... Even if it isn't true, I could believe it ... Graham Taylor's "Nowhere Near Good Enough for the Job" Harold Wilson "Quit while you are ahead" pipe Here today, going down tomorrow Joanne Whalley "Top Thinking Man's Crumpet" John Major Cardigan for people not quite up to the mark Karen Carpenter's Slimmer of the Year Linda Lovelace "Going down, going down, going down" CD of Football Chants Marc Almond "Happy Eater" Stomach Pump Mike Gatting "One law for one" family sized nan Mike Tyson "Sensitive Nineties Man" Boxing Glove Mrs. Thatcher's/Tony Blair's Businessman of the Year Porky Pig's Snout in the Trough Richard Branson "X for no publicity" Spiderman "This time I'm back, and stronger than ever" cliche Stanley Baxter "Haven't you gone yet?"Casket Tony Blair "Thanks for voting for us but ..." Plastic Rose |
TTYF! SICK(ISH) REVIEW OF THE YEAR 1998 And so to the awards As seems to be increasingly the case over the last few years we once again struggle in nominating a fresh face to the Top Thinking Mans Crumpet award. The roll call seems to vary little over the years, Gillian Anderson (1995) and Cameron Diaz (1996) have already been mentioned as have Pfeiffer, Teri Hatcher and Meg Ryan frequently in the past. I must admit this year it's a struggle. Times are hard - or not as the case may be. TTYF! AWARDS - 1998 Stiff of the Year1983 Cecil Parkinson Stiffed of the Year Marc Almond "Happy Eater" Stomach Pump 1998 Monica Lewinsky Stanley Baxter "Haven't you gone yet?" casket 1998 The Queen Mother 1984 Grand Hotel
Brighton I Can Handle Drugs Certificate 1985 Phil Lynott The Arsenal FC "I Can Handle Drink" Tankard 1996 Tony Adams Warren Beatty Trampoline Artist 1983 Cecil Parkinson Mike Tyson "Sensitive Nineties Man" Boxing Glove 1998 Stan Collymore David Mellor Fright Mask for Ugliest Politician 1998 Robin Cook 1996 Atlanta Games *This to win the award on a rollover basis until at least the year 2003 1997 The Algerians 1983 Peter Tatchell ("Iron" being cockney rhyming slang for a poof) Mike Gatting
"One Law For One" Karen Carpenter Slimmer Of The Year 1983 Lena Zavaroni Richard Branson's "X" For No Publicity 1988 Linford Christie Zeppo Marx Superfluous Presence Award 1988 Ian Rush Joanne Whalley
1986 Joanne Whalley
(Yes, I know you'd like us to put pictures of these on the web page but then the page would take ages to load. With the exception of Barbara Flynn (Beiderbeck Tapes, A Very Peculiar Practice), Louise Lombard and maybe Sara Gilbert (Darlene in Roseanne) they are out there on the web; find 'em yourself) Linda Lovelace "Going down, going down, going down" CD of Football Chants Charlton Athletic, Southampton, Nottingham Forest 1992 Tony Slattery Tony Blair "Thanks awfully for voting us in but that was ages ago" Plastic Rose 1997 the miners, single
parents, the disabled, pensioners and students The "Here Today, Gone Tomorrow" Award to Yo-yos, Furbies The "Here Today, Not Gone Tomorrow" Award to General Pinochet Granger Telecom Porky Pigs "ber-ber-ber-that's NOT all folks" Snout in the Trough Granger Telecom United States navy The Spiderman "I'm back and this time I'm stronger than ever" award to Saddam Hussein 10th Jesus Christ Crucifixion Kit Ron Davies Harold Wilson "Quit while you're ahead" pipe to 1996 Several dozen
Conservative MPs "not standing" at the next
election 1988 John Smith's
leadership ambitions (heart attack) The "Even if it isn't true I could believe it" award 1993 Michael Portillo
(allegedly gay) (See last year's Bender of the Year award) The "Even if it is true I can't believe it" award 1993 The end of the
recession Blondie The John Major "not quite up to the mark" award 1997 William Hague Graham Taylor "nowhere near good enough for the job" award 1997 Harriet Harman Michael Foot greatest political disaster of the year award 1997
Conservative election performance Mrs Thatcher's Businessman of the Year Award has been renamed the Tony Blair Businessmen of the Year Award 1997 Bernie Ecclestone The Andropov most likely to drop off list for 1998 From 1996/7
plus 1998
Which just goes to show how bad we are at this Additionally for 1999 Dame Thora Hird |
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